The first week of her life, Charlotte had me completely stumped. I kept thinking to myself,"Come on Claire, you have done this before. What is your deal. You should know why she is crying. You should know how to nurse a child. You've done it before...twice! You should know!"
These thoughts kept running through my head in the wee hours of the morning as I had a screaming little one night after night.
I was running on empty.
My patience was depleted
and yet my little babe was still uneasy.
I prayed.
I prayed my heart out to know what was wrong with my child. The next day (day 8 of her life) I was prompted to just watch her. So I did. I watched and observed. She would cry (more like scream) when I dressed her. She screamed when I tried to nurse her...only on one side. She screamed when I lifted her up. And then the clue that made my heart break; as she would scream, her little left arm would flail while her little right arm lay limp.
My curiosity led me to feel her collarbone. Again she screamed. She had a broken collarbone. I began to cry. My tiny child is hurt and she can't tell me. My mind raced as I thought of all of hours she spent crying. I am so sorry. The next morning I called the Dr's office. At 10am my theory was confirmed. The Dr. wrapped her little shoulders in a sling and prescribed a dose of Motrin. "When you have a big baby and a fast labor, somethings gotta give!", the Dr. said in a nonchalant manor. I realize it could be worse...much worse; but the pain a mother feels when she knows her child is hurting is never dull. It is times like these when I think of my savior. The pain he felt on our behalf. We are so blessed. Oh so blessed.
*yet another lesson my little ones have taught me.
As an update:
We are alive. I am sleeping a few hours at night. My house is somewhat clean. The kids have been fed the majority of the important meals. Everyone is wearing clean clothes... most of the time. I would say we are surviving! Isn't it funny how this tiny little being joins your family and you feel like your whole world is just rocked. Like upside down rocked! Regardless we love it.
more to come...
7 comments:
So sad! Glad you were able to figure out what was wrong + get her back on track!
She's a darling little one!
Oh, poor little Charlotte! I hope she is feeling better now. I am happy that you were able to figure out what was wrong with her. You are a good mom!
Oh, Claire! Good for you for listening...I think we too often ignore/deny feelings that we have. We know when something is wrong! I'm so glad things are going more smoothly. And a somewhat clean house and most of the important meals is better than I get sometimes without a newborn! Congratulations again on your new little one.
Thank goodness for prayer and answers to them! Poor little girl and poor mom. I am so glad you figured it out!
Claire, you are such a good mom! Just keep telling yourself that she has already forgotten the pain and is loving being in your family. She's a lucky girl. :)
Oh, poor girl- both of you. I'm glad she's feeling better and you're getting more sleep. Just remember clean houses are WAY overrated.
Claire,
I have heard this story and yet I still cried reading it! Wow!!! I love you girl!
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