Our Little Quinn

My Dear Friends-

It has been a long month for us. I wanted to update this blog because there are some of you that read this blog that would appreciate an update on our family right now.

Without going into too much detail (because my emotions are still raw) let me tell you what happened. On February 17th Quinn experienced a seizure. It was absolutely out of no where. It knocked me flat on my back and scared me to death. After a call to 911 and a day in the ER we were discharged with a normal CT and blood work. The Dr. told us that sometimes children will experience A seizure in their live and then never again. I was very shaken by this experience. But as the days passed I was starting to believe that maybe this was a one time occurrence and I began to sleep at night again.

On Monday (Feb. 28) Quinn seized again. This time while sitting up to the counter eating breakfast. Adam was home this time and was able to witness what happened. I was again shaken by the event. I called the pediatrician and within the hour we were in the Dr office.

He told me that he was going to place Quinn on the "Fast Track" to be seen by a neurologist at Primary Children's Hospital. I was in tears for most of this appointment.

I left the office. On my way home I had to stop at Walmart. While walking across the parking lot, I was pushing Q in the stroller with one hand as I held Charlotte's car seat in the other. He began to seize again. I called the Pediatrician immediately and he told us we needed to admit Quinn to the Hospital. After Quinn experiences a seizure, he falls into a very deep sleep that lasts about 1 1/2 hours. So I hurried home to grab some clothes for me, Quinn, and the Baby. I called Adam and he was able to rush home to drive us to the hospital; it wasn't safe for me to drive.

So...we were in the hospital for 3 days. Quinn had an MRI, an EEG, and many blood tests. He was incredible. He didn't complain. He just took it. My little 3 year old boy was amazing. Within time we received results from all of the tests; they were all normal. This was a huge relief to us. There were many scary things the Dr's were able to rule out. However...we still do not know what is causing him to seize. So they have started Quinn on an anti-seizure medication to be taken daily. Adam and I are somewhat nervous about putting a small child on medication...but the Dr's have assured us the alternative (seizures) is worse.

I on the other had have been pretty traumatized. The second I close my eyes at night the scenes continues to replay over and over in my mind. I generally wake up crying. Even though my little Quinn is right next to me breathing and just fine. I have been given several blessings which have offered much comfort. Adam has been my rock. He has helped me keep an eternal perspective. I am calmed by this. He explained to me that the priesthood he was blessing me with was the same power God used to create the world. The world! I know that the power of the priesthood can heal me and I believe with time it will.

This has been a long month for me. I have learned a lot. I have felt a variety of emotions with incredible depth and magnitude. My eyes have been opened to the hand of God in all things. As I replay all the events in my head, I am aware of the countless "tender mercies" my heavenly father bestowed upon us during this time.

I have to be honest. Before this all began, deep down I was secretly scared of what "trials" I would have to face. It was always just easier for me to just not think about it and go on believing life was just going to continue the same. Naive i know. I was worried... will I be able to handle it? will I have enough faith?

I came out of this month with the strongest testimony of Christ.

I believe that God is in charge.

Every single second we are on this earth is a gift. A pure gift. Every single second I have to be the mother to my babies is a blessing; a blessing that I will never again take for granted. I look at life differently now. I see things in a new light. My eyes have been opened. I see what really matters. I see my family with celestial eyes. I realize more what life is all about.

I have faith.

I know my Father in Heaven will help me through whatever trials I am dealt. I know it. I do not doubt. I just know. I have confidence in myself and in my God.

So here we sit on this bright sunny Friday morning. Quinn is sitting by my side watching

Tom & Jerry. (I could go the rest of my life with out watching T&J...that is all we did in the hospital) He is holding my arm and periodically gives me big slobbery kisses to tell me how much he loves snuggling with me. And I, I have tears in my eyes as I think about what an honor it is to be a mother. What a gift- I get to call these little children "my own". I am so grateful my Heavenly Father has allowed Quinn to stay with us. I am grateful for his sweet little smile and bright eyed face. I will ALWAYS be oh so grateful for this experience, for my eyes have been opened.

It is through the trial that God makes us strong. It is when our eyes are wet with humble tears that they can truly see the perspective of the heavens.

***We are going to have a family fast for Quinton this Sunday. If you would like to participate it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to all of you for your love and support.