Enjoy Your Normal

"You don't realize what you've got...till it's gone."

The past 8 months I "realized" what I had and oh how I longed for it.

Some may call it normal, mundane, monotonous, boring, same 'ol

but today...I call it beautiful.

Today and everyday for the past 24 days my heart has been bursting with gratitude for the blessing it is to be "normal".

My nights are filled with calm sleeping babes.

The mornings are filled with happy children sitting to the counter eating breakfast

...by themselves

And my days, my days are filled with happy healthy children who love:

bike rides

errands

stories

bathroom breaks

playing the piano

church

school

family dinners

family night

walks

park

learning

laughing

prayers

...............................

For eight long months all of the things I took for granted were suddenly taken from me.

My heart ached for my normal.

And now...I have it back and it is better than I ever remembered.

I have a little boy who at times I feel like I have never met.

He is a new child.

He and I spend everyday all day long together...until his dad comes home from work and then they are buddies till he falls asleep.

he talks a million miles an hour. he tells jokes all day long. he recalls memories from years ago. he anticipates the future. he expresses his love to all. he is learning! he is inquisitive, always asking what letter makes what sound and "how do you spell ____?". he plays the piano every day. he has three songs...joy to the world, twinkle twinkle, and I love to see the temple. he plays a C-scale like a pro. and I LOVE listening. he points to pictures in books and stops me when he doesn't understand a word or to tell me what something reminds me of. he cooks every meal with me, helps me with all of my canning while talking to me the whole time! he loves to play the nintendo DS. mario is his favorite only he pronounces it "Mahdio". he prays every night blessing everyone he can think of. he prays for the missionaries everyday. and he even prays for heavenly father and jesus, that they will be happy. he prays for grandpa byron's big red boat and his infamous mashed potatoes and gravy. He has an imagination; one that always makes me giggle!

To most the above paragraph may be normal for a 3 year old child. But to me the above paragraph is honestly miraculous. We have witnessed a small miracle in our home. The blessings of Heaven have been poured upon us.

This past weekend we had the privilege of listening to our Latter-Day Prophets. I look forward to this as it always inspires me and causes me to be a better person.

General Conference provides hope and reason to keep living.

Last conference, April, I was at the bottom.

Fear and anxiety were heightened to a degree I didn't know existed.

There was a talk given by Kent F. Richards of the seventy.

One of the 1st things he said was,

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”¹

As the tears were rolling down my face I continued to listen.

“Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.”Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm.

I spent many sleepless nights recalling the line, "sometimes we are 'healed' by being given strength ...to bear the burden placed upon us." After hearing this talk my prayers started to change.

For many months it was, "Please, please let the seizures stop. take them away!"

and then I began to pray for strength to endure the seizures

I prayed to have perspective. to see my child despite the seizures.

I prayed to have my emotions lifted.

I prayed to last another day.

I gave thanks when the seizure ended and when he started to breath.

I came to a realization that it was not His will that the seizures end right now.

it was not the time. so I needed to change my prayer. I needed to gear up and "put my hard had on" and go to work.

So I did.

And there were many days when my emotions got the best of me and I would fall. But somehow I was "healed" to carry the weight of my trial and I know that it was because of my savior and loved ones around me.

back to the talk.

at the very end he said this...

I have noted that children are often more naturally accepting of pain and suffering. They quietly endure with humility and meekness. I have felt a beautiful, sweet spirit surrounding these little ones.

Thirteen-year-old Sherrie underwent a 14-hour operation for a tumor on her spinal cord. As she regained consciousness in the intensive care unit, she said: “Daddy, Aunt Cheryl is here, … and … Grandpa Norman … and Grandma Brown … are here. And Daddy, who is that standing beside you? … He looks like you, only taller. … He says he’s your brother, Jimmy.” Her uncle Jimmy had died at age 13 of cystic fibrosis.

“For nearly an hour, Sherrie … described her visitors, all deceased familymembers. Exhausted, she then fell asleep.”

Later she told her father, “Daddy, all of the children here in the intensive care unit have angels helping them.”

This talk literally gave me strength to keep going; to have faith in the atonement of Christ and take one day at a time. To realize that when I can't do it all, HE can!

Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ.”The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. In extremity, we can become as children in our hearts, humble ourselves, and “pray and work and wait” patiently for the healing of our bodies and our souls. As Job, after being refined through our trials, we “shall come forth as gold.”

There was a different feeling in my home this conference. It was a feeling of happiness, hope, joy, gratitude, and peace. My children were happy and healthy. Alone, I went to the General Relief Society meeting. I sat and reflected. I listened to a talk given by President Uchtdorf. The talk was titled, "Forget Me Not". It was absolutely beautiful. I interpreted this talk a little bit different than some. On this new conference I felt I was given another chance.

The trial was lifted. My prayers have been answered. I have been given a second chance to enjoy "normal".

President Uchtdorf outlined that for me:

1. Forget not to be patient with yourself.

2. Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.

3. Forget not to be happy now.

4. Forget not the "why" of the gospel.

5. Forget not the Lord loves you.

These words were absolutely inspiring to me. If you haven't read it...please do!

I know my trials in life are not over. I know that there are many more challenges that await me but I do know that I have my savior, Jesus Christ...and I always will!

I know that "this too shall pass".

I know that I can do hard things.

I know that with God all things are possible.

And in the mean time I am going to LOVE my Normal!